It’s not that I’m afraid of dying, I often look forward to it.  But what death does to other people is inappropriate.

On January 24th, my brother in-law died of a sudden heart attack. Of course that left my sister, two daughters and a grandson to somehow make sense of it all.  The man was much younger than I, but had suffered for quite some time with certain complications from diabetes. Yet, how ironic that it was a heart attack that prompted the bell to toll.

As I pondered this all, I found myself wondering a good deal about Russ. We were never really close – but then my sister and I were never really close. When I would visit my mom he and I would exchange pleasantries but that was about it. So his death really doesn’t impact me much personally – but it does my sister and I take that very personal.  Even more to the  point, Russ was not a believer. He had a belief system, make no mistake about it, but it was not one directed toward God. He might have been classified as an agnostic more than an atheist, yet I’m not sure where that line gets drawn. Consequently, punching a ticket at the gates of the Almighty is not really an option, unless of course, one is a universalist and then – well, we’ll not go there.

Continuing to ponder, I thought what does one say at a memorial service for such an individual?  There could be the “house” chaplain used by the funeral home for those with no church affiliation. One can just imagine his words citing traditional scripture about “let not your heart be troubled…” or “yea, though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death…”  All in all pretty generic and non-committal.   Then there could be the local pastor who seizes the opportunity as a venue to preach the gospel and save some sinners! When you net it out, although he’d never say it, the premise is pretty simple, “don’t die without Jesus like this poor man might have done!”   Then there could be someone who takes a more philosophical tone. You know – presenting Pascal’s wager theory and convincing people that even if they don’t have a personal faith, living a life as though there were a God is much better odds than living as though there were no God and getting to the end and finding out there is!   It think that would be the track I’d take.

Funerals and memorial services are never really for the person who has died. They don’t know and don’t care who showed up and what was said – at least at that point they don’t. It’s really for the people left behind. To somehow bring them a sense of this is how you continue life without this person being a part of it. The sad thing is, many people never learn to move on. They get stuck in the overwhelming grief of the death event itself. They try to continue to hang on when there is really nothing – strike that – no one to hang on to. At least the person they want to hang on to.  My wife and I have had this discussion more than once. We insist that each other move on. That doesn’t necessarily mean marry again, or never acknowledge our lives together, it simply means to get on with it. Death happens.  It stings, it stinks, it can be overwhelming. But it’s only the “end” for one party.

We’re all born under the umbrella of death. We were never created to be eternal beings. We might have the privilege of eternal life after death but not dying was never the intent from creation.

My heart hurts deeply for my sister. This is going to be one of her toughest challenges. They dated in high school, married and have been hopelessly devoted to one another since that day. They have gone through some tough times lately, but their commitment to one another has never wavered. Now they’ll not have each other to cling to and that stinks!

Death stinks!

As I thought about that service I wondered how many people would sing that song, make some type of new year resolution to “follow Jesus” without ever really taking survey of what that might entail. After all, it is no easy task being a disciple of the Son of God.   That thought process got me to thinking about something I’d written a year or so ago entitled “The Truth About God.”

If the truth were told, would any one really tell the truth about what they think about God? I do not mean antagonistically, but candidly. We have many naysayers and theistic bigots, but that is not my concern. I am talking about theists – People who believe in God but have not become so numb to thinking about Him that they can no longer speak candidly about Him.

One book that has occupied space on my shelf for over twenty years is Thomas John Carlisle’s You! Jonah![1] It is a collection of poems about the life and times of Jonah, God’s favorite prophet, I am sure. There is one poem in there that is very short, entitled “Question”. It goes like this:

I hate God’s enemies

With perfect hatred,

Why can’t God

Do as much?[2]

Now that is being candid with how you feel about God. That is telling the truth about what your head is telling your heart and what your heart is actually feeling. That doesn’t mean it’s right – even godly. It just means it’s candid and real. For some people that would be tantamount to blasphemy. However, I rather think God is capable of handling that kind of openness. After all, He knows it’s lurking in our hearts and minds anyway, so why not just get it out in the open? I expect He might even respect that, instead of some form of spiritual espionage where we attempt to disguise those kinds of thoughts or feelings.

There is another poem called “Two-Way Conversation”.  It reads as follows:

At least Jonah

Talked back to God.

Often I

Do not even

Do that.[3]

That’s absolutely accurate in every syllable. When was the last time you talked back to God? Not in a “don’t you sass me” sense, but in the “Hey, wait a minute!” sense. Are you afraid you would offend Him, insult Him? Yes, that’s it!  We are afraid we would insult God. That is why we don’t talk truthfully to Him. That is why we don’t talk candidly to Him. That is why we don’t talk back to Him.  After all, we would never talk back to our parents, so what in heaven’s name makes us think it would ever be appropriate to talk back to God?

Again, I ask, if the truth were told, does any one talk truthfully about God anymore? Not in the sense that they have an “axe to grind”, whatever that means. Not in the sense that they want to give Him a piece of their mind. But in the sense where we say, “You know what God. I have no idea why you are doing what you are doing. Or not doing. This whole mess makes absolutely no sense. Sometimes it’s embarrassing. I make no pretense about my relationship with you, yet I find myself in a situation that quite frankly sucks. Those around me are wondering, what kind of God it is that I profess to serve. And I don’t mind telling you, I ask myself that from time to time as well.”

As social beings we are fairly proficient about circumventing personalities. We can talk about our boss, our co-worker, our neighbor, even our pastor. However, to talk to them directly about something, especially the truth is – well – just not the same. The people of Israel complained to Moses, not God. They voiced their displeasure to someone who eventually had to go to the source in order to get anything accomplished. It is true, that God had put a bit of “fear” in their hearts; “…For God has come only to test you and to put the fear of him upon you so that you do not sin.” (Ex. 20:20) But that did not mean they couldn’t voice their unrest to Yahweh Himself. Let’s face it. Their life in Egypt was not that difficult compared to what they were currently experiencing, or about to experience. So it does not stretch the imagination too much to figure out why they might be a bit on edge. My gosh, this was even new to Moses!

Have you not been in a situation where you followed what you believed was God’s leading, then ran into obstacles that you had not anticipated or expected would be there in following His will? Only to find yourself frustrated and wondering, why is God doing this? Then someone comes along and quotes Romans 8:28 and thinks that’s going to make everything okay.  But, you want to say – “That does not help! I hate that verse right now and would really appreciate it if you just kept it to yourself. God and I will be dealing with this on our own terms!”

If the truth were told, does anyone ever tell the truth about God?  Does He care about my situation in every detail? Or does He care about my situation at all? In the scheme of things, really, does it matter to Him? I would like to think so. I would like to believe He knows my name. That He is aware of my joy, my sorrow, my excitement, my sentiment. Or, is He just concerned about how I fit into the grand scheme of things, not the fit I am in at the present time?

If we are open with ourselves, we enjoy hearing the general platitudes that come from the pulpit or those we read in magazines or devotionals, because they help us mask what we truly feel. They help us balance the angst in our soul — That which wants to burst to the surface is continually being suppressed by a favorite verse, trite sayings, warm prayers or soothing choruses. When in reality we want to shout, to scream, to – yes – throw a tantrum of sorts. Not in public of course – that would be foolish – but in those private places, perhaps the company of a few. Some place where we can burst forth with “I have something to say God!”

He was a man of prayer,

Negatively speaking.

Frequently he

Took time

To take God

To task[4]

I know, you are undoubtedly thinking the flames are hot and my name is on the elevator door. However, that may not be the case. For I have nothing to lose. If I cannot speak truthfully about God, then He is not God. If I cannot speak openly and candidly to God, then He is merely an idol and one not worthy of worship. It is not as though I am the first.

”But I would speak to the Almighty, and I desire to argue my case with God.” (Job 13:3)    

“O LORD, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I plead my case to you and watch.”  (Psalm 5:3)

Yes, we may be few and far between. But I am not certain that’s because it’s not allowed. It may simply be because no one wants to venture down that road because some one may accuse them of being “untrue”, “unfaithful”, a “reprobate”, or even worse, a genuine disciple of Christ, who struggles to know what God is doing and perhaps why He might be doing it. It’s not that I want to increase myself on the god-ward side and, like my original ancestors, become like God, but rather simply to have some sense of peace about it all.  Can I have peace without knowing? Certainly, I can. And most of the time I will and I do. But sometimes – well sometimes, I just want to speak the truth about God.

You don’t mind, do you God?

For some odd reason that marking “Certified Frustration Free Packaging” has stuck with me these past few days.  I found myself daydreaming about how wonderful it might be to have a frustration free life. Circumstances wouldn’t bug me, people wouldn’t get on my nerves, everything would work perfectly and my life would be one simple-to-open experience. Then reality sets in.

For believers on the pilgrimage of faith frustration free is not really an option. Yes, we can cast our frustration, cares, and anxiety on the shoulders of the Savior, but that doesn’t eliminate them. Even the Twelve found themselves getting frustrated with the parables and futuristic proclamations of Jesus. And it seemed that Jesus would often get frustrated with them.  Furthermore,  even though frustration may serve to cultivate patience and patience endurance and endurance a sustaining faith that does not always sooth a raging heart  brought on by often infuriating circumstances or people.

I wonder what the cloud of witnesses think when I get frustrated?  I wonder what God thinks?

To help me manage both my expectations and behavior, I often look to my best example of faith-in-action…. my wife. She seldom gets frustrated. She sees the positive in most circumstances and always seems to give people the benefit of the doubt. So it may not be as spiritual as some might like but these past few days I am trying to picture in my mind how she might respond when faced with the frustrating circumstances I’m facing then take that course.   It may not produce a frustration FREE life, but it may help me manage my expectations and present a more Christ-like demeanor. She mentors me whether she knows it or not!  I pray you have someone similar in your life.

Happy New Year to All

In a recent Hallmark holiday movie they regularly referred to Christmas as a “magical time.” Magical not just for little kids, but for adults who have somehow lost the “magic” of the holiday.  But the truth is, Christmas is not magical as much as it is miraculous!  According to the Scriptures, the God of the universe takes two extraordinary steps. He first initiates the birth of His only begotten son through the willing womb of a virgin named Mary. If that were not enough, that birth represents the almost incomprehensible miracle of the divine invading earth in human flesh and dwelling among us!

When that babe wrapped in swaddling clothes became a man he made no pretense about his mission. It was to  proclaim the Kingdom of God is at hand and mark an eternal point in history where he is now “king” and the only way to a full and meaningful relationship to the Holy God of creation is through him.  That’s more than magical – that’s MIRACULOUS!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good life.

A part of this whole issue of theology is the basic principle that what is biblical is biblical mostly as it relates to a person or church’s specific belief system.  If someone disagrees with the basic tenants of “the faith” as laid out by a particular person or church they are often accused of not being biblical in their approach to scripture.  Is this a correct way to approach the biblical text?  Is there ever a time when we let the text speak for itself without trying to water it down, nuance the words, or try and uncover other texts that might balance out what one verse or series of verses might say compared to another?  When does “all” mean all?  When do if/then statements really present conditionality?  When does endurance really mean endurance?

In John 15 Jesus said he had “called” and “chosen” those who followed him (the Twelve). Does that mean they were predestined to be the twelve or that he simply selected them over others?  Jesus said that the Father is greater than him. Does that mean their is a hierarchy in the heavenly realm? Jacob seemed to indicate that if God would meet his needs then YHWH would be his God. All of these are challenging verses that can often be interpreted differently depending on an individual’s biblical perspective. Does that make these texts, or any others for that matter, non-specific either in context or application? I suspect not.

In a blog post I read the other day, Mark Galli – senior managing editor of Christianity Today – made this comment:

Like the longing for authority. One of the most frustrating things about being Protestant, and especially evangelical, is that there is really no place to turn when you are ready to end a conversation on a controversial point. There is no authority figure or institution that can silence heterodoxy. No one has your back—well, except the Holy Spirit (we’ll come back to this in a moment). The more Protestants there are, the more churches and theologies are birthed. As soon as we say, “The Christian church believes …” we hear someone say, “Well, I’m a Christian, and I don’t believe that!” To be an evangelical used to mean one stood for certain theological convictions—penal substitution, inerrancy, and so forth—but now many evangelicals take delight in defining themselves over and against one of these formerly cardinal doctrines, while insisting on the right to be called evangelicals.**

The point that struck me most was, “Well, I’m Christian and I don’t believe that!”  The rub there is simply this, many people are uncomfortable moving off center when it comes to their theology. Once you move past accepted orthodoxy there is the struggle to re-define one’s faith principles. That’s both challenging and often on-going. Moving away from center can cause a certain level of angst especially if one senses they are in the minority, even though they may be right.  At least, right for a time.

Orthodox theology provides a foundation that many people find comfortable and reassuring. They can echo the words “the church believes” even though they may not fully understand that belief system or be able to explain it should someone ask. Nevertheless, they find comfort there. Much like we find comfort at home. We have our routine and habits that give us both solace and a sense of stability.  Theology is much the same. We reside within the walls of orthodoxy because it offers us both solace and a sense of stability. Even though we may find a particular portion of that orthodox faith uncomfortable in both our heart and mind we push those feelings aside in favor of stability.

I suppose I could say “I’m orthodox to a point.” Of course, that would and has gotten me in trouble. I like to push the edge of the envelope. I want to be challenged to understand why something should be considered orthodox.  At times theology can be both fascinating and frustrating. It can stretch the mind and heart in ways many people who do not study theology would not understand.  At the same time it can bring us to our knees.

**http://www.patheos.com/community/jesuscreed/2011/11/17/magisterium-or-holy-spirit/