Oct 16, 1969 Psalm 9

October 16, 1969 That was the day I gave my life to Christ. I have never denied that nor have I ever questioned that. Yes, there are times when I ask myself how someone could do or think the things I do or have done, think or have thought, and still call myself a Christian….but then I suppose I’m not alone in that arena. But I have never denied the decision I made that evening in a living room in Pasco, WA during a Campus Crusade for Christ meeting among a dozen or so other college students.

That was the day I came to “know” God’s name. I came to “trust” Him, to “seek” Him. That was the day my life was turned right side up! Am I doing that today, I guess if you mean today then I suppose you could say yes. If you mean recently then definitely not. But like the “Hound of Heaven” I have never been able to escape that one fateful day on October 16, 1969! I always have to deal with that!

It would be easy if I could dismiss it as a hoax. Write it off as a drunken stupor. Erase it as though it were a figment of my imagination. Blot it out the same way I would a bad dream. But I can’t. I was there!!! I know what happened!!! I may not be living a life that is glorifying to him, but you could put a gun to my head and I would never deny that day! Never!

So that’s my conundrum….

And those who know your name
put their trust in you,
for you, O LORD, have not
forsaken those who seek you (v.10)
I know his name! But I’ll be candid, I am afraid to trust him, consequently it makes it hard to seek him. There I said it.
Father Spirit, if you’re reading this, I don’t mean to be offensive. Just trying to be honest. As you know I’ve not done real well at trusting you in the past. In fact, I’ve been pretty quick to bail out at the first sign of real trouble. Not much staying power. But I think I’m learning to do things differently. I’m not sure what that means yet, but at least it’s a start. What do you think?
Oh my….why can’t I just let this be?

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