The words stunned me. Even now when I think about them I cringe and wonder how I could have been so naive and introspective.
On more than one occasion on my blogs I have referred to my life as “second best.” That some how or in some way, because I was not doing what I believed God called me to do, I was living an inferior life. A good friend and mentor, sent me a few emails attempting to get me to see how foolish that thought pattern was. How insulting to God it might be. Each time he offered counsel, I responded with my rationale. However, his words remained and began to rattle around in my brain knowing there may be revealing truth in what he was saying.
The other evening, while my wife and I were spending some time together on the deck, she carried the thought to a new level. She indicated she had read my friend’s emails and she agreed with him. Then she spoke directly with a question that stunned me. “Am I then second best?
If I were texting, the response would have been OMG – Oh my God!
This person who has been my rock, my source of inspiration and perpetual love – my “message from God that He loves me unconditionally,” now puts things in perspective. Her words force me to think beyond my own pity party and look at reality.
There is nothing hidden from God. Not a sparrow falls from the sky without Him knowing, the very hairs of my head are numbered. The architect of the universe knows, directs and allows every event in my life. From before I was born He knew I would be right where I am, doing exactly what I would be doing. He knew every choice that would lead me here and knows exactly what I am doing now. Best of all, He was preparing a wonderful woman that would bring great joy and love into my life.
In spite of all my failures and indiscretions, there is nothing about God’s will that is second best. As one person said, “May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.”
This is a corner-turner for me. Words that I might have easily spoken to another have come to hit me head on. Years of self-programming must now be erased. I don’t expect it to be a miracle healing, but I do expect that God will heal my heart and mind. That He will reveal the joy of being in the here and now and living within the infinite scope of His will.
Thank you Jon.
Alice, forgive me for ever writing words or expressing thoughts that would somehow cause you to feel less than God’s best regarding yourself or our love.
Father, forgive me for selling You short. For giving people the impression You might have an inferior direction for me or anyone else. Help me to embrace the fact that I am exactly where You want me to be.