There is a good chance that I am not the only man on the planet that worries about what might happen tomorrow. Not just politically, although that worries me a great deal, but fiscally. It’s not so much that we have watched our life savings dwindle to near pittance, but it is the wonder of what will happen to the rest of our “stuff.” Yes, we have stuff! Not a great deal, less than we used to, but we still have stuff. More than that, we have obligations. Not just to the Utility Company and the cable guy, but to missionaries and other ministries. So, yes, I worry.
Those more spiritually in tune than I, offer sage advice about worry. You know, “Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.” That kind of stuff. Or they’ll flip open their Bible and lead me to the words of Jesus or Paul. Things like, “Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble (Matt 6:34).” Now that’s good news…”sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” For me, that is exactly what I’m worrying about today! Well, yes, in some regard tomorrow, but mostly today.
I envy those who don’t worry. People who appear to be unconcerned about the issues of the day. Yes, I know worrying does not demonstrate much faith. So I suspect my worrisome nature is a telltale sign of my little faith. However, it is hard to have big faith, when everything around you seems to be crumbling. And yes, I know it could be worse. Much worse. But that is like saying to someone your headache pain is nothing compared to those who suffer severe migraines. That may be true, but it is still pain and it is still my pain.
The crux of all my worry is my blasted eye. If my eye were clearly focused and healthy, than perhaps my need to worry would subside. Then again it could be I have split allegiance. Struggling to serve God while worrying about how we’ll survive financially. The scriptures tell me that God knows my needs and will provide for them. After all, he takes care of sparrows and elegantly robes the lilies of the field. But I was hoping for a bit more than leftover grain scattered in the fields and blossoms that last but for a day or two. That does not seem like to much does it? It’s not that I hate God and love money. That’s not it at all. I love God. I also like to meet my obligations.
The difficulty with mixed emotions about what to do next may be indicative of trying to serve both God and mammon. However it is not that I am fixed on finding riches to the detriment of my allegiance to God. It is simply that having a dual vision seems better at times than choosing wrongly and being self directed. You know, like some who wager with God…”Just let me work and take care of my family and my future, then I’ll serve you.” I suspect they are not worrying. But then again maybe they should.
Okay, that’s enough whining. I expect the best thing to do is look forward to looking back when I can say, “God met our needs and yielded blessings we had not expected.”
Now…on another note. Here is a blessing that I had not expected. Today, while at work, I noticed a woman in the store that I thought for sure I should know. This happens often whether it’s people I think I should know from church or people that look like people we’ve known but really aren’t. After having a short conversation in my mind whether or not to approach the woman, I decided I would. Low and behold it was someone we knew. In fact, we had known them for several years while we lived in IL. They attended our Sunday School class and I played softball with their son Dave on the church softball team. What a JOY it was to see her and learn that she and her husband lived close by. Thank you Father for that unexpected blessing!